Christmas without the Merry

Apollo Statue, Place Massena, Nice, France

Happy Christmas. May your holiday season be filled with joy, fun, good food and loving company.

Unfortunately, this will not be the merriest of Christmases for us. On December 2, husband Bob fell in Nice. We had been enjoying the spectacular lights, the Christmas market and lively ambiance. He was especially relaxed and happy which made me very happy.

Bob enjoyed oysters, a French holiday special, just before the dreadful fall in Nice.

But it all came to a tragic end. He was transported by ambulance to a Nice hospital where X-rays and a scan showed he had broken his pelvis in three places. He spent six days in the hospital. I alternated between commuting and staying in a hotel so I could visit. I was not pleased, neither with the care nor the hospital personnel. I decided he would be better off at home where I could care for him.

Since he is supposed to be bedridden for six weeks, this is especially challenging. His Alzheimer is advanced to the stage that he neither remembers nor understands. I realized I could not cope alone. Thanks to recommendations from friends, I was able to find live-in, 24-hour care. Kyle, who is with us five days per week, is a young and robust Filipino who is a master at changing Bob’s diaper and cleaning him up. Paola is Italian, the quintessential Italian mama She is with us two days per week and is an excellent cook. These Christmas angels are a blessing.

We visited an orthopedic specialist at the local hospital this week. Good news. Bob can now sit up (previously this was forbidden) and can begin to practice walking in early January. And, he can use a chair toilet which is now next to the hospital bed in the living room. (A super Christmas present)
I am hoping there will be an opening for him at the hospital’s rehabilitation center. He will need serious physical therapy.

Paola prepared a delicious roast sea bass.

Life is full of ups and downs. Bob and I are very fortunate. We have had lots of wonderful ups.

Nice Christmas trees

We are also very lucky to be part of the French health care system and its generous benefits. Not perfect, but:

1) We paid nothing for Bob’s hospital stay, all the tests, medications.
2) We paid nothing for the ambulance trip from the hospital back to our home, about a 45-minute trip, nothing for the ambulance trips from our apartment to the local hospital for X-rays and doctor appointments.
3) All prescription medications and doctor visits are completely covered.
4) A nurse comes daily to give an anti-coagulant injection at no cost to us.
5) A nurse comes twice per week to draw blood for a lab test – all covered.
6) And, we have been supplied with an amazing array of equipment for an at-home hospital. No charge for rental and delivery of a hospital bed, bed table, wheel chair, walker, therapeutic lounge chair, and the chair toilet.

In addition we are entitled to regular check-up visits by a nurse and twice per day visits for aides to come and bathe him, change him. We are on the waiting list for these. There is a serious lack of medical personnel in France. Fortunately, we have our at-home help.

Kyle helps Bob into the potty chair.

It is not all roses. I was not thrilled with his Nice hospital stay. I found the staff – nurses, aides, interns – cold, lacking in empathy, concern. Once when I needed assistance with him, neither a nurse nor aide was to be found for almost an hour. During the entire six days at the hospital, we never saw a full-fledged doctor, including 11 hours in the emergency room. It was frustrating and depressing. Apparently, it is the same problem – not enough personnel. But those at the Pasteur hospital in Nice need a Dale Carnegie course: “How to win Friends.” Just a smile and “How are you today?” would have made a big difference.

Happy Happy New Year. Be careful. Stay healthy.

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46 thoughts on “Christmas without the Merry”

  1. Dear Leah. I am so sorry that Bob has Alzheimers and is in a home. My dad had memory problems and eventually Alzheimers. My Mom and I tried to care for him at home but he began to display anger and it wasn’t safe for us so he went into a nursing home. He didn’t recognize me. It was so sad!

    Like

  2. I am so sorry to hear about Bob – and it must be very sad for you too. I didn’t look at the email until this morning, and I am sorry I missed this. Meanwhile thank you for your kind Christmas and New Year email to all – which I reciprocate with great affection. You are lucky to have found two perfect people to help you with Bob.
    Jackie x x x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Jackie. Here is my copy and paste update, I am coping.

      Bob Update: Unfortunately even with all the help I had organized, taking care of Bob at home became much too difficult. The fall greatly accelerated the
      Alzheimer. He was not sleeping at night, was very agitated, distraught. The prescribed medications did not always help. His doctor said he needed professional care to determine which medications would be best for him. I was also running out of steam. I knew I could not continue. Helper Paola left us after three days. Even Kyle, who was terrific, realized we could not go on.

      Bob is now living at Les Citronniers, an EHPAD, a French retirement home, just an 8 minute drive from our apartment. I visit daily. He, with 14 others, is in the Alzheimer unit. The staff are wonderful. He has his own spacious room. The food is good. He eats heartily. The broken pelvis has healed and he can walk, but is not yet stable. He is in a wheel chair at present but gets regular therapy to help his walking.

      Bob has good days and bad days, just as he did before the fall. His mind, however, is now in a different place. Most of the time, he seems content, He is not asking to come home. I miss him. Before the dreadful fall, we were together all the time. I took him everywhere. He did not say much, but seemed to enjoy getting out. It seems strange without him – no one to cook for, no one to sit in the driver’s seat and help me find parking spaces, no one to take walks with, no one to carry heavy grocery bags.

      Alzheimer is a horrific disease. I knew he would not get better, but the rapid deterioration since the fall is devastating.

      Like

      1. You and Bob are in my prayers . ( Like – May Bob and Leah be safe, may they be healthy, may they be joyful, may they be free. – metta prayer from buddhism). So many of our friends are either ill, or just old, and so often complicated by Alzheimer’s. I guess I wish we could all go back 15 years. Sigh…You guys were a team. Climbing to see gorillas, then a safari. Good trips making friends in Sri Lanka. Reading your blogs made us feel lazy. So please take care of yourself and tell Bob his safari buddies (and yes, maybe kindred spirits) send greetings. Bless you both. Makes my heart hurt.

        Like

    1. Hello Bob and Jane and Rosie. Hope you are all fine. Here is my copy and paste update.

      Bob Update: Unfortunately even with all the help I had organized, taking care of Bob at home became much too difficult. The fall greatly accelerated the
      Alzheimer. He was not sleeping at night, was very agitated, distraught. The prescribed medications did not always help. His doctor said he needed professional care to determine which medications would be best for him. I was also running out of steam. I knew I could not continue. Helper Paola left us after three days. Even Kyle, who was terrific, realized we could not go on.

      Bob is now living at Les Citronniers, an EHPAD, a French retirement home, just an eight minute drive from our apartment. I visit daily. He, with 14 others, is in the Alzheimer unit. The staff are wonderful. He has his own spacious room. The food is good. He eats heartily. The broken pelvis has healed and he can walk, but is not yet stable. He is in a wheel chair at present but gets regular therapy to help his walking. We pay for this home, but the French medical insurance pays doctor and medication expenses.

      Bob has good days and bad days, just as he did before the fall. His mind, however, is now in a different, puzzling place. Most of the time, he seems content, He is not asking to come home. I miss him. Before the dreadful fall, we were together all the time. I took him everywhere. He did not say much, but seemed to enjoy getting out. It seems strange to be without him – no one to cook for, no one to sit in the driver’s seat and help me find parking spaces, no one to take walks with, no one to carry heavy grocery bags. Of course, it was not all bliss. There were very trying times.

      Alzheimer is a horrific disease. I knew he would not get better, but the rapid deterioration since the fall is devastating

      Like

  3. May 2023 be a better year for you and Bob. Even though your hospital experience was a bust I was impressed with how much is covered with French health care.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Bob Update: Unfortunately even with all the help I had organized, taking care of Bob at home became much too difficult. The fall greatly accelerated the
      Alzheimer. He was not sleeping at night, was very agitated, distraught. The prescribed medications did not always help. His doctor said he needed professional care to determine which medications would be best for him. I was also running out of steam. I knew I could not continue. Helper Paola left us after three days. Even Kyle, who was terrific, realized we could not go on.

      Bob is now living at Les Citronniers, an EHPAD, a French retirement home, just an eight minute drive from our apartment. I visit daily. He, with 14 others, is in the Alzheimer unit. The staff are wonderful. He has his own spacious room. The food is good. He eats heartily. The broken pelvis has healed and he can walk, but is not yet stable. He is in a wheel chair at present but gets regular therapy to help his walking. We pay for this home, but the French medical insurance pays doctor and medication expenses.

      Bob has good days and bad days, just as he did before the fall. His mind, however, is now in a different, puzzling place. Most of the time, he seems content, He is not asking to come home. I miss him. Before the dreadful fall, we were together all the time. I took him everywhere. He did not say much, but seemed to enjoy getting out. It seems strange to be without him – no one to cook for, no one to sit in the driver’s seat and help me find parking spaces, no one to take walks with, no one to carry heavy grocery bags. Of course, it was not all bliss. There were very trying times.

      Alzheimer is a horrific disease. I knew he would not get better, but the rapid deterioration since the fall is devastating

      Like

  4. My heart goes out to you, Leah. So sorry for all the difficulties you and Bob are going through. You have been so resourceful to get that additional good help for home! I pray for strength and courage for you both.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Suzanne, Here is my copy and paste update:

      Bob Update: Unfortunately even with all the help I had organized, taking care of Bob at home became much too difficult. The fall greatly accelerated the
      Alzheimer. He was not sleeping at night, was very agitated, distraught. The prescribed medications did not always help. His doctor said he needed professional care to determine which medications would be best for him. I was also running out of steam. I knew I could not continue. Helper Paola left us after three days. Even Kyle, who was terrific, realized we could not go on.

      Bob is now living at Les Citronniers, an EHPAD, a French retirement home, just an eight minute drive from our apartment. I visit daily. He, with 14 others, is in the Alzheimer unit. The staff are wonderful. He has his own spacious room. The food is good. He eats heartily. The broken pelvis has healed and he can walk, but is not yet stable. He is in a wheel chair at present but gets regular therapy to help his walking. We pay for this home, but the French medical insurance pays doctor and medication expenses.

      Bob has good days and bad days, just as he did before the fall. His mind, however, is now in a different, puzzling place. Most of the time, he seems content, He is not asking to come home. I miss him. Before the dreadful fall, we were together all the time. I took him everywhere. He did not say much, but seemed to enjoy getting out. It seems strange to be without him – no one to cook for, no one to sit in the driver’s seat and help me find parking spaces, no one to take walks with, no one to carry heavy grocery bags. Of course, it was not all bliss. There were very trying times.

      Alzheimer is a horrific disease. I knew he would not get better, but the rapid deterioration since the fall is devastating

      Like

  5. I’m so sorry for all the challenges you and Bob are experiencing.
    I admire your ability to find positives hidden in those challenges.
    It certainly is tough to watch someone you love in pain and in decline. My husband is going through chemotherapy right now, so I can empathize. Fortunately, we have excellent medical coverage.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Shelley. You are having very tough times, too. I am sorry and hope your husband will improve. Here is my copy and paste update:

      Bob Update: Unfortunately even with all the help I had organized, taking care of Bob at home became much too difficult. The fall greatly accelerated the Alzheimer. He was not sleeping at night, was very agitated, distraught. The prescribed medications did not always help. His doctor said he needed professional care to determine which medications would be best for him. I was also running out of steam. I knew I could not continue. Helper Paola left us after three days. Even Kyle, who was terrific, realized we could not go on.

      Bob is now living at Les Citronniers, an EHPAD, a French retirement home, just an eight minute drive from our apartment. I visit daily. He, with 14 others, is in the Alzheimer unit. The staff are wonderful. He has his own spacious room. The food is good. He eats heartily. The broken pelvis has healed and he can walk, but is not yet stable. He is in a wheel chair at present but gets regular therapy to help his walking. We pay for this home, but the French medical insurance pays doctor and medication expenses.

      Bob has good days and bad days, just as he did before the fall. His mind, however, is now in a different, puzzling place. Most of the time, he seems content, He is not asking to come home. I miss him. Before the dreadful fall, we were together all the time. I took him everywhere. He did not say much, but seemed to enjoy getting out. It seems strange to be without him – no one to cook for, no one to sit in the driver’s seat and help me find parking spaces, no one to take walks with, no one to carry heavy grocery bags. Of course, it was not all bliss. There were very trying times.

      Alzheimer is a horrific disease. I knew he would not get better, but the rapid deterioration since the fall is devastating
      will improve. Here is my copy and paste update:

      Like

      1. Although I have only been a caregiver for three months, that was long enough to give me a full appreciation for how difficult it can be. I also saw first hand the strain my mother- in-law was under, trying to take care of my father-in-law after his Alzheimers became advanced. It took a while to persuade her to put him into a facility, but like the one Bob is in, it was lovely, and she was able to visit him as much as she wanted. Two years later, she went into assisted living, across from his facility. That was where she was when he died, which was ultimately the best place for her to be, rather than rattling around in the huge house where they raised 5 kids. It was so difficult to watch the brilliant man disappear before our eyes, but he seemed content.

        My husband’s cancer is very aggressive. Despite radiation and chemo, the tumors continue to grow and multiply, so they stopped the chemo and immunotherapy regime he was on, because it was determined to be ineffective. Although his doctor has suggested that he consider the quality vs quantity of life equation, he has opted for a different chemotherapy course, despite its low success rate. That course of treatment is every other week. Luckily, Memorial Sloan Kettering has a satellite office less than 2 miles from our home, so he doesn’t need to go into NYC to receive treatment. We feel really fortunate to have excellent care close by.

        The people at the facility are wonderful and supportive. They will do whatever the patient wants, so he got his first infusion on Friday. Today (Sunday) he’s been unable to eat, and has spent most of the day sleeping in his recliner (which is where he has been spending about 22 out of every 24 hours.)

        Like you, I think about the future without my buddy. I don’t feel much like cooking for myself, and because of the impact of chemo, most of my meals are already solitary.

        In October, my youngest sister died suddenly and unexpectedly from a freak infection. We are all still devastated from that loss—but the one positive aspect was it made me realize how lucky I am to be able to have this time with Mike. I never got a chance to say goodbye to my sister, or tell her how much I love her. As painful as it is to watch Mike in pain and to be fully aware of how this story will end, I still am grateful that he didn’t die from a heart attack or a fatal car accident.

        Someone sent this to me after my sister died, and I was comforted by it. 

        Like

  6. Our best to Bob for a full recovery and our regrets that this had to happen. We also appreciate your sharing this — and many wonderful tales — with us. I can echo the benefits of the French health care system having been hospitalized for a week in Bordeaux following surgery for peritonitis — but I found the hospital staff excellent and very caring. But that was before covid and staff shortages. Please stay well.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Ole. I am copingl. Here is my copy and paste update:

      Bob Update: Unfortunately even with all the help I had organized, taking care of Bob at home became much too difficult. The fall greatly accelerated the Alzheimer. He was not sleeping at night, was very agitated, distraught. The prescribed medications did not always help. His doctor said he needed professional care to determine which medications would be best for him. I was also running out of steam. I knew I could not continue. Helper Paola left us after three days. Even Kyle, who was terrific, realized we could not go on.

      Bob is now living at Les Citronniers, an EHPAD, a French retirement home, just an eight minute drive from our apartment. I visit daily. He, with 14 others, is in the Alzheimer unit. The staff are wonderful. He has his own spacious room. The food is good. He eats heartily. The broken pelvis has healed and he can walk, but is not yet stable. He is in a wheel chair at present but gets regular therapy to help his walking. We pay for this home, but the French medical insurance pays doctor and medication expenses.

      Bob has good days and bad days, just as he did before the fall. His mind, however, is now in a different, puzzling place. Most of the time, he seems content, He is not asking to come home. I miss him. Before the dreadful fall, we were together all the time. I took him everywhere. He did not say much, but seemed to enjoy getting out. It seems strange to be without him – no one to cook for, no one to sit in the driver’s seat and help me find parking spaces, no one to take walks with, no one to carry heavy grocery bags. Of course, it was not all bliss. There were very trying times.

      Alzheimer is a horrific disease. I knew he would not get better, but the rapid deterioration since the fall is devastating

      Like

  7. Dear Leah – we are so VERY sorry to hear of Bob’s fall and what you are both going through. And we can thoroughly understand and empathize with you and the lack of “caring” from the French hospital personnel! When it comes to “caring”, there is none better than Americans! I can’t believe imagine how you are going to get through this but obviously, you already are taking care of everything! You are most amazing! BUT – Come back to America where people care.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Ann and thanks for your reply. Here is my belated copy and paste update
      Bob Update: Unfortunately even with all the help I had organized, taking care of Bob at home became much too difficult. The fall greatly accelerated the
      Alzheimer. He was not sleeping at night, was very agitated, distraught. The prescribed medications did not always help. His doctor said he needed professional care to determine which medications would be best for him. I was also running out of steam. I knew I could not continue. Helper Paola left us after three days. Even Kyle, who was terrific, realized we could not go on.

      Bob is now living at Les Citronniers, an EHPAD, a French retirement home, just an eight minute drive from our apartment. I visit daily. He, with 14 others, is in the Alzheimer unit. The staff are wonderful. He has his own spacious room. The food is good. He eats heartily. The broken pelvis has healed and he can walk, but is not yet stable. He is in a wheel chair at present but gets regular therapy to help his walking. We pay for this home, but the French medical insurance pays doctor and medication expenses.

      Bob has good days and bad days, just as he did before the fall. His mind, however, is now in a different, puzzling place. Most of the time, he seems content, He is not asking to come home. I miss him. Before the dreadful fall, we were together all the time. I took him everywhere. He did not say much, but seemed to enjoy getting out. It seems strange to be without him – no one to cook for, no one to sit in the driver’s seat and help me find parking spaces, no one to take walks with, no one to carry heavy grocery bags. Of course, it was not all bliss. There were very trying times.

      Alzheimer is a horrific disease. I knew he would not get better, but the rapid deterioration since the fall is devastating

      Like

  8. We are so sorry to hear ab Bob’s accident. Hopefully, he will obtain a slot in the rehab center soon. So glad you have wonderful in-house personnel. (That sea bass looked amazing, obtw!)
    May the blessings of peace, renewed health, happiness fill both your lives now and always.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Frances. Good to hear from you. Here is my belated copy and paste update,

      Bob Update: Unfortunately even with all the help I had organized, taking care of Bob at home became much too difficult. The fall greatly accelerated the Alzheimer. He was not sleeping at night, was very agitated, distraught. The prescribed medications did not always help. His doctor said he needed professional care to determine which medications would be best for him. I was also running out of steam. I knew I could not continue. Helper Paola left us after three days. Even Kyle, who was terrific, realized we could not go on.

      Bob is now living at Les Citronniers, an EHPAD, a French retirement home, just an eight minute drive from our apartment. I visit daily. He, with 14 others, is in the Alzheimer unit. The staff are wonderful. He has his own spacious room. The food is good. He eats heartily. The broken pelvis has healed and he can walk, but is not yet stable. He is in a wheel chair at present but gets regular therapy to help his walking. We pay for this home, but the French medical insurance pays doctor and medication expenses.

      Bob has good days and bad days, just as he did before the fall. His mind, however, is now in a different, puzzling place. Most of the time, he seems content, He is not asking to come home. I miss him. Before the dreadful fall, we were together all the time. I took him everywhere. He did not say much, but seemed to enjoy getting out. It seems strange to be without him – no one to cook for, no one to sit in the driver’s seat and help me find parking spaces, no one to take walks with, no one to carry heavy grocery bags. Of course, it was not all bliss. There were very trying times.

      Alzheimer is a horrific disease. I knew he would not get better, but the rapid deterioration since the fall is devastating

      Like

      1. Oh, dear Leah, I’m so sorry to hear ab Bob now needing the fulltime medical care & services of a care facility. But you made the right decision as it sounds like you and your in-home helpers were overwhelmed with responsibilities. We only have so much energy… It is so heart-breaking to know the void in your life. My heart goes out to you.

        I wish you strength, courage and peace as you deal with Bob’s declining mental health. Know that you did and are doing everything you can. That is all a person can do. xo

        Like

  9. Thanks for sharing this tale, Leah. I wish you and Bob a Very Good Christmas. Your lives are such an inspiration, especially to those of us who hope to do more traveling (and cooking!) in retirement. Joyeux Noel!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Dave. I asm delighted to hear from. you. Here is my belated copy and paste update.

      Bob Update: Unfortunately even with all the help I had organized, taking care of Bob at home became much too difficult. The fall greatly accelerated the Alzheimer. He was not sleeping at night, was very agitated, distraught. The prescribed medications did not always help. His doctor said he needed professional care to determine which medications would be best for him. I was also running out of steam. I knew I could not continue. Helper Paola left us after three days. Even Kyle, who was terrific, realized we could not go on.

      Bob is now living at Les Citronniers, an EHPAD, a French retirement home, just an eight minute drive from our apartment. I visit daily. He, with 14 others, is in the Alzheimer unit. The staff are wonderful. He has his own spacious room. The food is good. He eats heartily. The broken pelvis has healed and he can walk, but is not yet stable. He is in a wheel chair at present but gets regular therapy to help his walking. We pay for this home, but the French medical insurance pays doctor and medication expenses.

      Bob has good days and bad days, just as he did before the fall. His mind, however, is now in a different, puzzling place. Most of the time, he seems content, He is not asking to come home. I miss him. Before the dreadful fall, we were together all the time. I took him everywhere. He did not say much, but seemed to enjoy getting out. It seems strange to be without him – no one to cook for, no one to sit in the driver’s seat and help me find parking spaces, no one to take walks with, no one to carry heavy grocery bags. Of course, it was not all bliss. There were very trying times.

      Alzheimer is a horrific disease. I knew he would not get better, but the rapid deterioration since the fall is devastating

      Like

    1. Thank you Michele. At last, my very belated update.

      Bob Update: Unfortunately even with all the help I had organized, taking care of Bob at home became much too difficult. The fall greatly accelerated the Alzheimer. He was not sleeping at night, was very agitated, distraught. The prescribed medications did not always help. His doctor said he needed professional care to determine which medications would be best for him. I was also running out of steam. I knew I could not continue. Helper Paola left us after three days. Even Kyle, who was terrific, realized we could not go on.

      Bob is now living at Les Citronniers, an EHPAD, a French retirement home, just an eight minute drive from our apartment. I visit daily. He, with 14 others, is in the Alzheimer unit. The staff are wonderful. He has his own spacious room. The food is good. He eats heartily. The broken pelvis has healed and he can walk, but is not yet stable. He is in a wheel chair at present but gets regular therapy to help his walking. We pay for this home, but the French medical insurance pays doctor and medication expenses.

      Bob has good days and bad days, just as he did before the fall. His mind, however, is now in a different, puzzling place. Most of the time, he seems content, He is not asking to come home. I miss him. Before the dreadful fall, we were together all the time. I took him everywhere. He did not say much, but seemed to enjoy getting out. It seems strange to be without him – no one to cook for, no one to sit in the driver’s seat and help me find parking spaces, no one to take walks with, no one to carry heavy grocery bags. Of course, it was not all bliss. There were very trying times.

      Alzheimer is a horrific disease. I knew he would not get better, but the rapid deterioration since the fall is devastating

      Like

  10. Oh Leah – what a horrible thing to happen. Poor Bob but most of all poor you, it must be so difficult but so glad that you have good helpers. The French health system is brilliant but sad that the staff in Nice were so surly. A smile and a reassuring word makes such a difference in such circumstances, We send our love to you both and hope you have as happy a Christmas as possible.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Gilla. At last, my very belated copy and paste update:
      Bob Update: Unfortunately even with all the help I had organized, taking care of Bob at home became much too difficult. The fall greatly accelerated the
      Alzheimer. He was not sleeping at night, was very agitated, distraught. The prescribed medications did not always help. His doctor said he needed professional care to determine which medications would be best for him. I was also running out of steam. I knew I could not continue. Helper Paola left us after three days. Even Kyle, who was terrific, realized we could not go on.

      Bob is now living at Les Citronniers, an EHPAD, a French retirement home, just an eight minute drive from our apartment. I visit daily. He, with 14 others, is in the Alzheimer unit. The staff are wonderful. He has his own spacious room. The food is good. He eats heartily. The broken pelvis has healed and he can walk, but is not yet stable. He is in a wheel chair at present but gets regular therapy to help his walking. We pay for this home, but the French medical insurance pays doctor and medication expenses.

      Bob has good days and bad days, just as he did before the fall. His mind, however, is now in a different, puzzling place. Most of the time, he seems content, He is not asking to come home. I miss him. Before the dreadful fall, we were together all the time. I took him everywhere. He did not say much, but seemed to enjoy getting out. It seems strange to be without him – no one to cook for, no one to sit in the driver’s seat and help me find parking spaces, no one to take walks with, no one to carry heavy grocery bags. Of course, it was not all bliss. There were very trying times.

      Alzheimer is a horrific disease. I knew he would not get better, but the rapid deterioration since the fall is devastating

      Like

      1. Merci..voici an update.
        Bob Update: Unfortunately even with all the help I had organized, taking care of Bob at home became much too difficult. The fall greatly accelerated the
        Alzheimer. He was not sleeping at night, was very agitated, distraught. The prescribed medications did not always help. His doctor said he needed professional care to determine which medications would be best for him. I was also running out of steam. I knew I could not continue. Helper Paola left us after three days. Even Kyle, who was terrific, realized we could not go on.

        Bob is now living at Les Citronniers, an EHPAD, a French retirement home, just an eight minute drive from our apartment. I visit daily. He, with 14 others, is in the Alzheimer unit. The staff are wonderful. He has his own spacious room. The food is good. He eats heartily. The broken pelvis has healed and he can walk, but is not yet stable. He is in a wheel chair at present but gets regular therapy to help his walking. We pay for this home, but the French medical insurance pays doctor and medication expenses.

        Bob has good days and bad days, just as he did before the fall. His mind, however, is now in a different, puzzling place. Most of the time, he seems content, He is not asking to come home. I miss him. Before the dreadful fall, we were together all the time. I took him everywhere. He did not say much, but seemed to enjoy getting out. It seems strange to be without him – no one to cook for, no one to sit in the driver’s seat and help me find parking spaces, no one to take walks with, no one to carry heavy grocery bags. Of course, it was not all bliss. There were very trying times.

        Alzheimer is a horrific disease. I knew he would not get better, but the rapid deterioration since the fall is devastating

        Like

  11. Chapeau/Brava, Leah, for the honest, detailed account of your 2022 “holiday life.”
    Remember to pay attention to your own needs during this challenging time.
    Bon courage!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Jinny. At last, my copy and paste update,
      Bob Update: Unfortunately even with all the help I had organized, taking care of Bob at home became much too difficult. The fall greatly accelerated the
      Alzheimer. He was not sleeping at night, was very agitated, distraught. The prescribed medications did not always help. His doctor said he needed professional care to determine which medications would be best for him. I was also running out of steam. I knew I could not continue. Helper Paola left us after three days. Even Kyle, who was terrific, realized we could not go on.

      Bob is now living at Les Citronniers, an EHPAD, a French retirement home, just an eight minute drive from our apartment. I visit daily. He, with 14 others, is in the Alzheimer unit. The staff are wonderful. He has his own spacious room. The food is good. He eats heartily. The broken pelvis has healed and he can walk, but is not yet stable. He is in a wheel chair at present but gets regular therapy to help his walking. We pay for this home, but the French medical insurance pays doctor and medication expenses.

      Bob has good days and bad days, just as he did before the fall. His mind, however, is now in a different, puzzling place. Most of the time, he seems content, He is not asking to come home. I miss him. Before the dreadful fall, we were together all the time. I took him everywhere. He did not say much, but seemed to enjoy getting out. It seems strange to be without him – no one to cook for, no one to sit in the driver’s seat and help me find parking spaces, no one to take walks with, no one to carry heavy grocery bags. Of course, it was not all bliss. There were very trying times.

      Alzheimer is a horrific disease. I knew he would not get better, but the rapid deterioration since the fall is devastating

      Like

  12. Oh Leah what a sad end to your holiday. Please pass on our best wishes to Bob for afgpood recovery although I guess he won’t remember me.
    How lucky that you were able to hire help.
    I hope that you find a place for Bob in rehab in January.
    We remember with love many wonderful times with you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Meg. At last, my copy and paste update.
      Bob Update: Unfortunately even with all the help I had organized, taking care of Bob at home became much too difficult. The fall greatly accelerated the Alzheimer. He was not sleeping at night, was very agitated, distraught. The prescribed medications did not always help. His doctor said he needed professional care to determine which medications would be best for him. I was also running out of steam. I knew I could not continue. Helper Paola left us after three days. Even Kyle, who was terrific, realized we could not go on.

      Bob is now living at Les Citronniers, an EHPAD, a French retirement home, just an eight minute drive from our apartment. I visit daily. He, with 14 others, is in the Alzheimer unit. The staff are wonderful. He has his own spacious room. The food is good. He eats heartily. The broken pelvis has healed and he can walk, but is not yet stable. He is in a wheel chair at present but gets regular therapy to help his walking. We pay for this home, but the French medical insurance pays doctor and medication expenses.

      Bob has good days and bad days, just as he did before the fall. His mind, however, is now in a different, puzzling place. Most of the time, he seems content, He is not asking to come home. I miss him. Before the dreadful fall, we were together all the time. I took him everywhere. He did not say much, but seemed to enjoy getting out. It seems strange to be without him – no one to cook for, no one to sit in the driver’s seat and help me find parking spaces, no one to take walks with, no one to carry heavy grocery bags. Of course, it was not all bliss. There were very trying times.

      Alzheimer is a horrific disease. I knew he would not get better, but the rapid deterioration since the fall is devastating

      Like

  13. Leah – were so sorry to hear of the misfortune you and Bob have encountered. Our thoughts are with you. It’s great that were able to find such in-house assistance.
    Our love and abraços
    Bill and Esther

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Bill. At last, my copy and paste update:
      Bob Update: Unfortunately even with all the help I had organized, taking care of Bob at home became much too difficult. The fall greatly accelerated the Alzheimer. He was not sleeping at night, was very agitated, distraught. The prescribed medications did not always help. His doctor said he needed professional care to determine which medications would be best for him. I was also running out of steam. I knew I could not continue. Helper Paola left us after three days. Even Kyle, who was terrific, realized we could not go on.

      Bob is now living at Les Citronniers, an EHPAD, a French retirement home, just an eight minute drive from our apartment. I visit daily. He, with 14 others, is in the Alzheimer unit. The staff are wonderful. He has his own spacious room. The food is good. He eats heartily. The broken pelvis has healed and he can walk, but is not yet stable. He is in a wheel chair at present but gets regular therapy to help his walking. We pay for this home, but the French medical insurance pays doctor and medication expenses.

      Bob has good days and bad days, just as he did before the fall. His mind, however, is now in a different, puzzling place. Most of the time, he seems content, He is not asking to come home. I miss him. Before the dreadful fall, we were together all the time. I took him everywhere. He did not say much, but seemed to enjoy getting out. It seems strange to be without him – no one to cook for, no one to sit in the driver’s seat and help me find parking spaces, no one to take walks with, no one to carry heavy grocery bags. Of course, it was not all bliss. There were very trying times.

      Alzheimer is a horrific disease. I knew he would not get better, but the rapid deterioration since the fall is devastating

      Like

      1. Leah, it pains me to hear your story, but it is a cautionary tale that needs to be heard. It’s something that can befall any of us. You deserve a big hug for your compassion, your example and your perseverance.
        -bt

        Like

    1. Dearest Kellie, you know all this,, but I’ll send anyway. We look forward to seeing you soon,
      Bob Update: Unfortunately even with all the help I had organized, taking care of Bob at home became much too difficult. The fall greatly accelerated the Alzheimer. He was not sleeping at night, was very agitated, distraught. The prescribed medications did not always help. His doctor said he needed professional care to determine which medications would be best for him. I was also running out of steam. I knew I could not continue. Helper Paola left us after three days. Even Kyle, who was terrific, realized we could not go on.

      Bob is now living at Les Citronniers, an EHPAD, a French retirement home, just an eight minute drive from our apartment. I visit daily. He, with 14 others, is in the Alzheimer unit. The staff are wonderful. He has his own spacious room. The food is good. He eats heartily. The broken pelvis has healed and he can walk, but is not yet stable. He is in a wheel chair at present but gets regular therapy to help his walking. We pay for this home, but the French medical insurance pays doctor and medication expenses.

      Bob has good days and bad days, just as he did before the fall. His mind, however, is now in a different, puzzling place. Most of the time, he seems content, He is not asking to come home. I miss him. Before the dreadful fall, we were together all the time. I took him everywhere. He did not say much, but seemed to enjoy getting out. It seems strange to be without him – no one to cook for, no one to sit in the driver’s seat and help me find parking spaces, no one to take walks with, no one to carry heavy grocery bags. Of course, it was not all bliss. There were very trying times.

      Alzheimer is a horrific disease. I knew he would not get better, but the rapid deterioration since the fall is devastating

      Like

  14. Leah. John and I are sorry to hear about Bob’s fall. He is so lucky to have you in his life. You are truly wonderful! We hope that he will make progress and be able to walk again
    Take care and have a blessed Christmas. Sandra Eddy and John Bean.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Sandra. Here its my copy and paste update.
      Bob Update: Unfortunately even with all the help I had organized, taking care of Bob at home became much too difficult. The fall greatly accelerated the Alzheimer. He was not sleeping at night, was very agitated, distraught. The prescribed medications did not always help. His doctor said he needed professional care to determine which medications would be best for him. I was also running out of steam. I knew I could not continue. Helper Paola left us after three days. Even Kyle, who was terrific, realized we could not go on.

      Bob is now living at Les Citronniers, an EHPAD, a French retirement home, just an eight minute drive from our apartment. I visit daily. He, with 14 others, is in the Alzheimer unit. The staff are wonderful. He has his own spacious room. The food is good. He eats heartily. The broken pelvis has healed and he can walk, but is not yet stable. He is in a wheel chair at present but gets regular therapy to help his walking. We pay for this home, but the French medical insurance pays doctor and medication expenses.

      Bob has good days and bad days, just as he did before the fall. His mind, however, is now in a different, puzzling place. Most of the time, he seems content, He is not asking to come home. I miss him. Before the dreadful fall, we were together all the time. I took him everywhere. He did not say much, but seemed to enjoy getting out. It seems strange to be without him – no one to cook for, no one to sit in the driver’s seat and help me find parking spaces, no one to take walks with, no one to carry heavy grocery bags. Of course, it was not all bliss. There were very trying times.

      Alzheimer is a horrific disease. I knew he would not get better, but the rapid deterioration since the fall is devastating

      Like

  15. The Bob we met in Africa was a trooper. Prayers that  he recovers, and you continue to have more pleasant experiences together.  I continue to be amazed at your travels. We have thrown in the towel, glad we saw so much of an interesting and challenging world. Helen

    “Living well is the best revenge.”

    The Talmud

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Helen and thanks for your comment. Yes, he was a trooper and that was a fabulous trip. At last, my belated copy and paste update
      Bob Update: Unfortunately even with all the help I had organized, taking care of Bob at home became much too difficult. The fall greatly accelerated the Alzheimer. He was not sleeping at night, was very agitated, distraught. The prescribed medications did not always help. His doctor said he needed professional care to determine which medications would be best for him. I was also running out of steam. I knew I could not continue. Helper Paola left us after three days. Even Kyle, who was terrific, realized we could not go on.

      Bob is now living at Les Citronniers, an EHPAD, a French retirement home, just an eight minute drive from our apartment. I visit daily. He, with 14 others, is in the Alzheimer unit. The staff are wonderful. He has his own spacious room. The food is good. He eats heartily. The broken pelvis has healed and he can walk, but is not yet stable. He is in a wheel chair at present but gets regular therapy to help his walking. We pay for this home, but the French medical insurance pays doctor and medication expenses.

      Bob has good days and bad days, just as he did before the fall. His mind, however, is now in a different, puzzling place. Most of the time, he seems content, He is not asking to come home. I miss him. Before the dreadful fall, we were together all the time. I took him everywhere. He did not say much, but seemed to enjoy getting out. It seems strange to be without him – no one to cook for, no one to sit in the driver’s seat and help me find parking spaces, no one to take walks with, no one to carry heavy grocery bags. Of course, it was not all bliss. There were very trying times.

      Alzheimer is a horrific disease. I knew he would not get better, but the rapid deterioration since the fall is devastating

      Like

  16. Dear Leah and Bob, we’re so sorry to hear about Bob’s accident and protracted recovery period. Through these difficult times, you have apparently gathered good helpers to take care of Bob at home. Please give Bob a hug from us. We miss seeing you guys. We have shared many good times with you both. Love…Tom & Pat

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Tom and Pat, yes, we had many good times together. It is good to hear from. you. At. last, my copy and paste update.

      Bob Update: Unfortunately even with all the help I had organized, taking care of Bob at home became much too difficult. The fall greatly accelerated the
      Alzheimer. He was not sleeping at night, was very agitated, distraught. The prescribed medications did not always help. His doctor said he needed professional care to determine which medications would be best for him. I was also running out of steam. I knew I could not continue. Helper Paola left us after three days. Even Kyle, who was terrific, realized we could not go on.

      Bob is now living at Les Citronniers, an EHPAD, a French retirement home, just an eight minute drive from our apartment. I visit daily. He, with 14 others, is in the Alzheimer unit. The staff are wonderful. He has his own spacious room. The food is good. He eats heartily. The broken pelvis has healed and he can walk, but is not yet stable. He is in a wheel chair at present but gets regular therapy to help his walking. We pay for this home, but the French medical insurance pays doctor and medication expenses.

      Bob has good days and bad days, just as he did before the fall. His mind, however, is now in a different, puzzling place. Most of the time, he seems content, He is not asking to come home. I miss him. Before the dreadful fall, we were together all the time. I took him everywhere. He did not say much, but seemed to enjoy getting out. It seems strange to be without him – no one to cook for, no one to sit in the driver’s seat and help me find parking spaces, no one to take walks with, no one to carry heavy grocery bags. Of course, it was not all bliss. There were very trying times.

      Alzheimer is a horrific disease. I knew he would not get better, but the rapid deterioration since the fall is devastating

      Like

  17. Ahh, Leah, I am so sorry to hear of your UnMerry Christmas… It’s debilitating to be away from home when you’re unwell, add Bob’s challenges and unhelpful hospital personnel to the mix and it’s just a lousy time. I am sorry… The upside? That fabulous sea bass and Bob walking in January. My best wishes to you and Bob; may 2023 be a happier year.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much Pat. At last, my belated copy and paste update;
      Bob Update: Unfortunately even with all the help I had organized, taking care of Bob at home became much too difficult. The fall greatly accelerated the Alzheimer. He was not sleeping at night, was very agitated, distraught. The prescribed medications did not always help. His doctor said he needed professional care to determine which medications would be best for him. I was also running out of steam. I knew I could not continue. Helper Paola left us after three days. Even Kyle, who was terrific, realized we could not go on.

      Bob is now living at Les Citronniers, an EHPAD, a French retirement home, just an eight minute drive from our apartment. I visit daily. He, with 14 others, is in the Alzheimer unit. The staff are wonderful. He has his own spacious room. The food is good. He eats heartily. The broken pelvis has healed and he can walk, but is not yet stable. He is in a wheel chair at present but gets regular therapy to help his walking. We pay for this home, but the French medical insurance pays doctor and medication expenses.

      Bob has good days and bad days, just as he did before the fall. His mind, however, is now in a different, puzzling place. Most of the time, he seems content, He is not asking to come home. I miss him. Before the dreadful fall, we were together all the time. I took him everywhere. He did not say much, but seemed to enjoy getting out. It seems strange to be without him – no one to cook for, no one to sit in the driver’s seat and help me find parking spaces, no one to take walks with, no one to carry heavy grocery bags. Of course, it was not all bliss. There were very trying times.

      Alzheimer is a horrific disease. I knew he would not get better, but the rapid deterioration since the fall is devastating

      Like

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